Harry Potter and the Twisted Lovers
by Logo-13
Summary: This Love is getting pretty farfetched
1. Harry's True Feelings

Hi everybody my names Logan, but my friends call me Logo. Anyway I found out about this site from my friend: Roxanne she wrote another Harry Potter story like this one (she isn't done yet). To let you people know I can be really hyper a lot of the time so a lot of my story is gonna be kinda messed up. Now my co-author will talk. . As you can see I don't have a co- author (yet), but my "friend" Roxanne will edit it. Now on with the story!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Harry's True Feelings  
  
"Wake up you lazy boy!" Uncle Vernon yelled at Harry from downstairs.  
  
"Coming!" Harry yelled back. Harry jumped out off bed, savoring every moment he was alive. Today he was supposed to meet Hermione. Harry got dressed and quickly ran downstairs.  
  
"Hi Uncle Vernon how are you?" Harry greeted Uncle Vernon, much to his uncle's surprise.  
  
"I'm fine," He replied hesitantly, "But I don't know if you are."  
  
"Well I'm splendid! I've never been better. Tiptop shape wot wot. Any way what's for breakfast?" Harry asked politely.  
  
"Well your awfully cheerful this fine morning!" Aunt Petunia butted  
in,  
  
"We're having sizzling thin strips of bacon, sunny side up eggs, pancakes with melt-in-your-mouth maple syrup, and it's all smothered in butter!"  
  
"Wow!" Harry said surprised. "You certainly have out done yourself Aunt Petunia."  
  
"Well that's not for you, that's for uncle Vernon, Dudely, and me. You get somethin much more special... a bowl of four-month-old Froot Loops!" Aunt Petunia said, smirking and laughing suspiciously like Snape.  
  
"I just won't have any then," Harry said and slumped back to his room, stomach growling.  
  
"Hedwig," Harry said entering his room and petting a fluffy white owl, "How come they don't like me? Is it cause I am a wizard? Or maybe it's my glasses? Probably my scar. Ah! It hurts like a bitch!"  
  
Harry rubbed the painful spot on his forehead and got ready to leave.  
  
"I have to go meet Hermoinie now so don't get into any trouble, OK Hedwig?" Harry asked, "See you later," Harry left his room and went out side to wait for the bus that was headed somewhere around Hermione's house he hoped. 


	2. The Alley

Hey everybody I'm back and still without a co-author. I think I should put up an ad for a co-author. Hey maybe J.K. Rowling will be my co-author that would be cool. She could pay me big bucks too. What do you think? P.S. Once again Roxanne edited this. (Roxanne: I'm so super-de-duper!!) Anyway on with the story!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Harry went to the bus stop and waited there for ten minutes. When the bus came he got on and saw it was almost packed full. He put his money in the money slot and went to see if he could find a spot.  
  
He found a spot beside an elderly lady. "Can I sit beside you ma'am?" Harry asked the lady.  
  
"Why of course," the lady moved over and patted the seat beside her. "Why aren't you a hunk?"  
  
"Well I have been working out lately," Harry answered flexing his muscles.  
  
"Are you going to see your girlfriend, Mr. Hunk?"  
  
"Actually," Harry said, "I have liked her for as long as I can remember, but she's not my girlfriend yet."  
  
"Well she'll be one lucky girl to have you as a boyfriend," the lady said with a comforting voice.  
  
"This is my stop! It's been a pleasure to meet you," Harry said to the lady as he left the bus. "What a weirdo! She's been so lonely, she's gone crazy."  
  
"Now Hermoinie said she would be around here someplace," Harry said to himself, "But where?"  
  
"BOOO!" Hermoinie yelled right behind Harry.  
  
"HOLY MOTHER FUCKER!" Harry screamed and turned around.  
  
"Hehehehe, sorry I couldn't help it," Hermoinie apologized.  
  
"Apology accepted," Harry replied. "Now what do we do?"  
  
"Follow me!" Hermoinie said and grabbed his arm and ran through an alley. She led him through almost a million turns until they were at a dead and.  
  
"Let me guess, we have to tap bricks in a certain pattern just like Diagon Ally?" Harry questioned.  
  
"Well no, but I thought we could do something for fun here where nobody will see us!"  
  
"What would that be?"  
  
"Ummmm . Why don't I just do it 'cause it's hard to explain?" Hermoinie stuttered.  
  
"All right."  
  
Hermoinie went up to Harry and reached forward to his shirt. She grabbed his shirt and pulled it off.  
  
"Wow!" She said with surprise.  
  
"I've been working out!" Harry said proudly.  
  
"It's not that. I'm surprised that your shirt came off so fast."  
  
"Well thanks for the complement."  
  
"Your welcome," Hermoinie said walking closer to Harry. "Now where were we?"  
  
"You just pulled off my shirt," Harry said, grinning.  
  
"O ya," Hermoinie said and touched Harry's chest. "Now get ready." 


	3. Doris

Hey I'm back with good news! I got a co-author and a co-co-author. They are: Roxanne (the other story maker person) and Geordie pronounced Jordy, but we call him Gordy (This person I know from an institution.)  
  
Roxanne: As you all can see, Logo is crazy and sucks at editing but it's all good. I'm here to edit and promote my story.I mean make the story better.. Yah that's it.. Harry Potter and the Love Line Lane! Roger and Ebert give it two thumbs up! So I hope everyone enjoys this cause I'm to lazy to write any thing amazing (other than Harry Potter and the Love Line Lane!) Luv ya all and don't forget to review!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Hermoine pulled harry towards her and gently moved towards Harry's face.  
  
"Is this the thing you wanted to do where nobody could see us?" Harry asked.  
  
Hermoine thought it was the stupidest question ever. "Yes now be quiet."  
  
"OK," Harry said, anticipating what was coming, "Go for it!"  
  
Hermione grabbed Harry again and looked into his deep emerald eyes. She was always moving closer, but Harry never noticed until he felt his lips tickle. He snapped back to reality and found Hermoine kissing him. It was the greatest day of his life so he tried his best.  
  
They fell to the ground, still entangled, but they didn't care. They continued doing their thing. At first, Hermione didn't think that Harry would kiss back but he did and it felt amazing. They were so wrapped up in the moment that they didn't notice the time. When they stopped to catch their breath Hermoine looked at her watch.  
  
"Oh no!" she shrieked, "We have to go now! We are already late and my mom gets really suspicious!"  
  
Harry quickly grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head then ran after Hermione, struggling to catch up with her. They ran all they way back through they alley and out into the streets. Harry was struck dumb in wonderment because he didn't know how Hermoine memorized her way through that alley.  
  
"Over here!" Hermione yelled. "My mom's over here!"  
  
Harry snapped back to reality and ran toward Hermione. He caught up with her and found her mom in her car waiting on the corner of the street.  
  
"Sorry we're late mum! We kind of got lost," Hermione lied.  
  
"As long as you're safe Hermione. Now who is this?" Hermione's mom asked.  
  
"That's Harry mum," Hermoine answered.  
  
"Nice to meet you muggle," Harry said and held out his hand.  
  
"A what!?" Hermione's mom screamed.  
  
"He. uh. means. mum," Hermione said hesitantly.  
  
"Well you don't have to call me mum cuz I'm not your mum! You can call me Doris."  
  
"Okay," Harry replied.  
  
As they got in the car, Harry heard Doris mumble "Son of a bitch" under her breath. 


	4. School Letters

Hey everybody. As you all know now I can be pretty weird in the story. Today is one of those days again! My co-authors think I'm the greatest storywriter ever. They event think I'm better than.... um....er.....uh...OK enough of that lets hear what we have to say ourselves all right?  
  
Roxanne: Wow! Someone's having a lying spree. Anyways right now I would rather be drawing.. Harry sure is dumb in this, even dumber than Draco in my story (Harry Potter and the Love Line Lane @ fanfiction.net/~sunkissedmoonlight) actually Draco is quite sexy.  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Hermione and Harry sat in the back of the car staring at each other. "Awwwwww! Isn't that sweet," Doris butted in.  
  
"Be quiet, mum," Hermione retorted. "Nothing's happening we just haven't seen each other all summer!"  
  
"Ya, I haven't seen her all summer! Anyways, Why would I date that bitch! I wouldn't date her if she was the last girl on earth and Draco was the only guy," Harry added. Hermione looked at Harry with an evil glare. "I'm not joking!!"  
  
"Harry, Mum doesn't like when asshole's swear," Hermione said to Harry through clenched teeth.  
  
"Oh sorry," Harry apologized. "How much farther to your house Hermione?"  
  
"Not that far now. Maybe two minutes or so," Hermione answered. "Do you want to help me with SPEW? I've been planning on giving them all leather jackets for Christmas!"  
  
"All right, but where are we getting the leather jackets?"  
  
"Umm.er.uh.I was actually planning on making them ourselves," Hermione stuttered.  
  
"Sounds like fun! When do we start?"  
  
"When we get to school 'cause then we can use magic and make them with less time and energy," Hermione answered.  
  
"We're here!" Doris called as they pulled up to a house that looked like it was out of a book.  
  
Harry and Hermione got out of the car and went up to the front door. Doris walked up and put a key in the door and gave it a turn.  
  
"Wow how did you shove that thing into the door?" Harry asked in amazement.  
  
"Well she just put it into the little slot and it went in," Hermione tried to explain.  
  
Doris opened the door and they walked in. They took their shoes off and went to Hermione's room. Hermione quickly shut the door and locked it.  
  
"Now lets gave some fun!" She said.  
  
"Hermione! There's a letter for you and Harry here!" Doris called up the stairs.  
  
"Oh, it must be our new school supplies list," Hermione said opening the door. "Let's go!" Harry sighed and ran out after Hermione and down the stairs. Harry grabbed his letter and opened it.  
  
"I have to get Magic spell book XIIVX!" He exclaimed.  
  
"So do I," Hermione gasped, out of breath. "We have to go to Diagon Alley to get these,"  
  
"Do we go by floo powder?" Harry asked.  
  
"No, we drive!" 


	5. Police Encounter

Hey again. Wow I sure am writing lots, I guess its cuz I don't have much to do. Any way my co-authors have been a big help cuz I don't really have good editing skills. So I decided to give them a promotion to...um....er...uh. what's after co-author and co-co-author besides author? I just won't give them a promotion so I don't have to think. There were all happy! Now on with the story!  
  
Roxanne: Wow thanks for nothing! I was hoping for a raise. Anything is better than nothing!  
  
Chapter 5  
  
"What!?" Harry exclaimed. "You can't drive! I can't drive either!"  
  
"Not me dumbass!" Hermione remarked. "My mum will drive, geez what did you think? That I was responsible enough to drive. Ha! You got to be kidding me. Last time I tried to drive I knocked out the wall leading into Diagon Alley!"  
  
"Umm.. Tricked ya!" Harry quickly retorted. "You fell for my trick! You've got to be pretty stupid to fall for that. It's probably the oldest trick in the book."  
  
"Well you're not the smartest either and it sounded like you thought I was going drive smart ass!"  
  
"Hermione don't be a potty mouth like the young asshole over there," Doris butted in.  
  
"Well shouldn't we be going, mum?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Why of course," Doris replied. "We have to get your school supplies." They got in the car and buckled up. Doris put the keys in and fired up the engine.  
  
"Let's put the pedal to the metal!" Doris shoved her foot on the gas pedal and the car went speeding off the driveway. They shot down the street and made a sharp turn onto the highway.  
  
"Move it or lose it buddy!" Doris screamed as they went barreling by a small car.  
  
*Police siren noises* "This is the police!" Someone yelled at them from behind, "Pull your vehicle over, NOW!"  
  
"All right you lazy ass teens who think they can do whatever they want," Doris mumbled.  
  
"Mum, they might hear you!" Hermione whispered.  
  
"Like I care," Doris retorted. "It's not like they will lock me up in an institution or anything."  
  
"Knowing you they just might," Harry said under his breath.  
  
The police came up to the window and Doris rolled it down. "Please state your name ma'am," the police officer said.  
  
"And what if I don't?" Doris questioned.  
  
"We'll have to take you into the station," the police officer answered.  
  
"That's close enough to an institution," Harry mumbled. Hermione tried to stop herself from giggling to loud, but she couldn't.  
  
"Hermione shut your stupid trap I'm flirting! I mean negotiating with the police," Doris said.  
  
"Mum can we walk to the store? It's not that far from here,"  
  
"All right, just don't get lost again."  
  
Harry and Hermione scrambled out of the car and started walking to Diagon Alley.  
  
"Now Harry, why don't we have some more fun?" Hermione asked in a voice that flowed like molasses.  
  
"Cause we have to go get our new school supplies," Harry answered.  
  
Hermione's voice changed back to normal. "Oh yea, school supplies." 


	6. Diagon Alley

Hey it's me again. For some unknown reason I feel like killing somebody. Hey Geordie get over here! I want to talk to you. Now you're very loyal to me Gordy so I'm going to give you a chance. RUN! Come on my grandma runs faster than that! I'll let him run then chase him after the story. Lets hurry I don't want to give him a huge lead.  
  
Roxanne: Why kill Geordie? He's nice! *pets Geordie on the head* Man I'm tired.. But I went shopping so everything is ok (Especially my story! Okay this is getting old..).  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Diagon Alley  
  
Harry and Hermione walked for quite a while until they came across another alley.  
  
"This way!" Hermione called as she ran down the alley.  
  
"Coming!" Harry called back. They ran down the alley and came to a dead end. "Do we make out again here?" Harry asked.  
  
"No we have to get stupid school supplies," Hermione answered. "Do you want to after?"  
  
"Sure!" Harry quickly replied. "Let me do the tapping on the stones."  
  
Harry pulled out his wand and tapped the stones on the left, top, bottom, right, and finally the middle. The stones retreated and opened up a long alley. "We're here," Harry said. They went to the bank first to get some money.  
  
"Holy shit! Harry, you're one rich bitch," Hermione gasped as they came to Harry's vault.  
  
"I know," Harry proudly responded. "My parents gave it all to me, the bastard loner who has no friends."  
  
"Who need friends when you have a make-out partner? Well let's go get our new spell books from Botts and Blotts."  
  
"Okaly dokaly neighborino!" Harry replied.  
  
"What?" Hermione asked  
  
"Doesn't anybody watch American shows?" Harry asked himself, "There way better than any stupid English show! It means yes."  
  
"All righty then."  
  
They walked up the alley and saw a whole bunch interesting magical items in the windows of the many shops.  
  
"O wow!" Harry exclaimed as he saw a new broom in the window. "It's amazing. I gotta get it!"  
  
"What about the Firebolt Sirius gave you?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Fuck Sirius! This is way better!" And with that remark, Harry ran into the shop and bought the new broom for 50 Galleons. Harry came back out of the shop with everybody staring at his broom. "It's called Wind Rusher! It was very expensive. There goes my parent's money."  
  
"That was very selfish, ya know," Hermione said.  
  
"Yah, so?" Harry retorted. "It's not like they could stop me or anything."  
  
"Well you got a point," Hermione sadly admitted.  
  
"I always do," Harry replied. "Well let's go get our school shit."  
  
Harry and Hermione walked to Botts and Blotts and bought their new spell book.  
  
"Now we need an even bigger cauldron, geez what's this world coming to?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Why don't you go ask a muggle after you tell them there's a whole wizarding world?"  
  
"Um.'cause it's against the rules."  
  
"Oh yah," Harry remembered. "Well let's go get the cauldron thing over and done with now." They went to the potion shop and found their new cauldrons and bought them.  
  
"Now what do we need?" Harry asked.  
  
"Um. that's all actually," Hermione answered. "I'm actually quite surprised cause normally we have to get a lot of stuff like 10 books, new gloves for Hagrid's class and new pots for professor Sprout!"  
  
"Who cares that's less stuff to waste money on," Harry butted in. "Lets go to the Burrow and meet with Ron and family."  
  
"OK I haven't seen him for ever!" 


	7. In the Bush

Hey everybody. I got some bad news. I couldn't find a way to kill Gordy so he's still living, I know it sucks. O well what you gonna do? I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna e-mail people we like, a lot. I already did, but she hasn't e-mailed me back, yet. Now the co-author will talk, I think.  
  
Roxanne: Actually it's more like typing. But anyways. Wow nice review I love you too. And by the way...It's a fanfic not a complete representation of a book. If everything was the same, we'd be infringing copywrite laws. Also, I would like to see you write a story 'cause it looks like you haven't yet. Oh look! No email or URL either! Looks like someone has a lot of enemies their trying to avoid!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
In the Bush  
  
Harry and Hermione went back to the car and saw that the police were still there. "Oh my god!" Hermione exclaimed. "My mum is still flirting with those bastards."  
  
"Wanna have some fun while she's having her fun?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well since there's nothing else to do," Hermione answered. "Sure." Hermione led Harry behind a big bush where they were hid from her mother's view.  
  
"Here?" Harry asked nervously, "People might see us!"  
  
"And we care why?" Hermione asked. "It's not like they know who we are. Their not going go tell everybody that we were doing it. And what are the chances of anybody seeing us?"  
  
"Well you gotta point," Harry replied. "Plus there isn't any other spot. So let's get it on!" Harry and Hermione grabbed each other and fell in a deep compassionate kiss.  
  
"Oh, Harry," Hermione said. "You're the best kisser in the world."  
  
"I know," Harry proudly answered. "Let's stop the talking and get the jiggy wit it!!" (Co A/N Na na na na na na na! lol) They rolled around in the bush and started stripping each other. Hermione grabbed Harry's pants and started pulling them off. Harry helped Hermione by wiggling out of his pants then started pulling off her shirt. Hermione pulled Harry's shirt off while he unhooked her bra.  
  
"Wow," Hermione said. "Are you sure you have never done this before?"  
  
"As sure as I am a man." Harry replied. They kept rolling around and accidentally rolled onto the street just when Hermione's mom was driving by to go and pick them up from Diagon Alley.  
  
"HERMIONE!" Doris screamed. "You're not old enough to do that stuff yet! And with that son of a bitch! I thought you knew better! You're grounded when we get back home missy! And Harry's going have to leave!"  
  
"I was planning on going to Ron's house any way, Doris," Harry said annoyed that they had to stop, "So you won't have to worry about taking me anywhere. His house is only about 4 kilometres away so I'll just walk."  
  
"Well get going and put your clothes on," Doris demanded. "I don't want you around my daughter ever again."  
  
Harry scrambled to put his pants on and before he left he winked at Hermione and told her that he'd see her at school.  
  
"Now, Hermione put your clothes on and get in the car, we have something to discuss," Harry heard Doris tell Hermione as he walked away. Harry walked for 2 kilometres and saw the Weasley's blue car driving on the streets.  
  
"Hey!" Harry shouted, waving his arms frantically, "Over here!"  
  
The Weasley's spotted Harry and drove over to the side of the rode where he was standing.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Mrs. Weasley asked.  
  
"I was just going to your house actually," Harry answered. "Can I get a ride?"  
  
"Why certainly," Mrs. Weasley answered sweetly as George opened the back door. Harry hopped in the car and closed the door. "I see you got your new books for school. Do you have all your other things Harry?"  
  
"No, they're at my house, but I can get them from your house." Harry answered. Mrs. Weasley was puzzled by this statement but she nodded and they drove back to the Burrow.  
  
"Accio suit case!" Harry called and pointed his wand towards the west. Harry's suit case came whizzing by shortly after. "See I told you I could get it." 


	8. Harry's Letter

Hey it's me again. If you haven't figured this out yet that I suck at editing, that's pretty sad. That's why I have a co-author and a co-co- author. And I write a lot cuz I don't like to sit around doing nothing so that's why I'm always on the comp or on the PS2. (I really like video games). Anyway now a word from the idiot.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Harry's Letter  
  
"Harry, your not allowed to use magic outside of school!" Ron yelled.  
  
"Oop's, I forgot," Harry replied. "I hope I don't have to go to court again, that was fuckin horrible."  
  
"Well you probably will have to cause a lot of muggles probably saw a suit case flying through the air," Ron answered. "Unless the ministry of magic didn't see it."  
  
"Hopefully your right. Well we'll just have to wait and see." Harry replied. "Well let's do somethin while we're waiting."  
  
"All right," Fred butted in. "How about."  
  
"Wizards chess!" Ron exclaimed. "I haven't played Harry in ages."  
  
"Yea, I got to kick Ron's ass like I always do," Harry said.  
  
"Bring it on bitch!" Ron retorted.  
  
"RONALD WEASLEY!" Mrs. Weasley screamed. "You are not allowed to use that language in our home!"  
  
"Sorry mum I kinda forgot," Ron apologized. "Well let's go, Harry. I want to see you back up your mouth."  
  
"All righty then." Harry answered. Harry and Ron went inside to the table. Ron went to the cupboard and pulled out the chessboard. "I'm white!" Harry called.  
  
"I don't care I'm still gonna whip ya." Ron remarked. "Now go before I get angry. You wont like me when I'm angry." Harry played remarkably well considering that He hasn't played for the whole summer.  
  
They played for almost 2 hours and then heard Mrs. Weasley "Harry there's a letter here for you."  
  
"Uh oh!" Harry said. "It's probably the ministry of magic complaining about me using magic." Harry got up and went to get his letter.  
  
"Good luck!" Ron called as Harry left the room. 


	9. Hogwarts Express

Hey everybody. I'm kinda whacked out right now so don't get all freaked out when you read this chapter. Now everybody knows about the guy in the institution Gordy. I have some bad news about him, he's not gonna die! Boo hoo! Doesn't that just suck ass? Well what ya gonna do bout it? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go play Fire Emblem! (I just bought it last night). O shit I can't play. Damn GBA SP why can't you charge your batteries faster? I'll just finish writin this chapter then go see if it's done chargin.  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Hogwarts Express  
  
Harry went up the stairs and got his letter. "Awesome, it's not from the ministry of magic, bonus!" Harry exclaimed. "It's from Hermione." Harry opened it and read Hermione's letter.  
  
Dear Harry, Thanks to you I am grounded and have to do all the chores in the house. You really made me mad so I'm gonna make you mad by not letting you help me with SPEW. How do you like that? Bet you hate it huh? Well you're lucky that I didn't get grounded at the start of summer or I wouldn't ever go out with you again. C ya at the train lover boy.  
  
Love Hermione.  
  
"Wow," I thought she would be a little bit madder. "O well. I gotta go beat Ron in wizards chess now." Harry went back downstairs and told Ron about the letter.  
  
"You're so lucky, Harry," Ron said. "Man if I was caught using magic I would be in so much shit it wouldn't be funny."  
  
"Ron, Harry, its time to go to the train station!" Mrs. Weasley called.  
  
"All right," Ron exclaimed. "Now we get to go and do stuff that mum won't normally let us do." Harry and Ron ran upstairs and grabbed their bags. They scrambled outside and threw their stuff into the trunk of the car. They got in the car and went to the train station.  
  
"Platform 9 ¾," Harry said when they go to the station.  
  
"Is everybody ready?" Mrs. Weasley asked. Well then lets go." Ron went first. He ran at the wall and went through. "Ginny, it's your turn." Ginny ran at the wall just like Ron and also went through.  
  
"I guess it's my turn," Harry said and ran at the wall. Harry went full charge at the wall, but hit a rock and went flying off the side onto some train tracks. All his things on the cart fell off onto the tracks. "O shit! How am I supposed to get all my stuff now?"  
  
"Not to worry dear," Mrs. Weasley said. "We'll just pick them up." They started picking up Harry's things when a security guard came up to them.  
  
"What in the name of mother fucking shit do you think you're doing?" the officer questioned.  
  
"Well um. we were uh. walking when my cart hit a rock or some other piece of shit and it fell onto the tracks and spilled all my stuff," Harry answered.  
  
"Well I'll be a mother fucker, why didn't you say so I would've helped ya?" The officer helped pick Harry's stuff up. When they had all his things picked up the officer left them and Harry carefully walked through the wall.  
  
"The Hogwarts express," Harry said. "Where all the weird things happen." Harry got on the train and went to see if he could find Ron and Hermione. 


	10. The Love Train

Hey everybody I'm back and my GBA SP finished charging. Woo hoo! And I did play it for quite a long time (about 3 hour's non-stop). And it was as fun as writing this story is, no funner than writing this story. (I know funner isn't a word). Now where were we? O yea, Harry got on the Hogwarts Express to look for Hermione (rar rar) and Ron. Now lets begin, wait we already started the story so lets continue, there that's better.  
  
Chapter 10  
  
The Love Train  
  
Harry walked through the train peeking in each compartment to see if Ron or Hermione was in one of them. Harry came across one that had funny noises coming from inside. Harry was curious so he opened the door and to his horror saw Ron and Draco making out.  
  
"O my fuckin god!" Harry exclaimed. "I new Ron was gay, but Draco, I had no clue."  
  
"Harry this is our private life." Ron said as he stood up. "Please don't tell anyone," Ron pleaded.  
  
"If one word of this gets out Potter I will torture you making you wish I killed you," Draco threatened. "Got it?"  
  
"Got it your gayness," Harry answered and bowed to Draco. "Is that all your gayness?"  
  
"No," Draco retorted. "You must stop calling me "your gayness" even if it does sound good."  
  
"OK I will not call you your gayness any more," Harry said. "But Ron, Malfoy? I thought you could do better."  
  
"Harry, you can leave now," Ron grumbled.  
  
"All right all right, I'll leave," Harry replied. Harry left the compartment and heard them lock the door. "I gotta tell Hermione!" Harry said to himself. "When I find her." Harry went back to looking for Hermione. He finally found her near the front of the train.  
  
"Hey guess what" Harry said.  
  
"What now?" Hermione asked with a bad attitude.  
  
"I saw Ron and Malfoy making out in another compartment," Harry answered excitedly.  
  
"O my god, really?" Hermione asked with excitement. "I knew Ron was gay, but Malfoy."  
  
"Ya, and that's exactly what I said," Harry answered.  
  
"Well if gays are allowed making out on the train then so are we," Hermione stated and locked the door.  
  
"I see where you're going with this and I like it," Harry said walking closer to Hermione. Harry and Hermione embraced in a long passionate kiss.  
  
"Lets go farther in our relationship," Hermione said and started taking off her shirt and pants.  
  
"A man's got needs and there about to be fulfilled," Harry replied and started taking his clothes off. In a couple seconds they were back on each other, having sex. Hermione wrapped her legs around Harry and brought him down to the floor. They rolled under the seats and never stopped once. They kept kissing and grabbing each other until they heard someone. They stopped for a moment until they passed and then went right back to what they were doing.  
  
"Harry, its like you've done this a million times," Hermione said through a of Harry's tongue.  
  
"Actually this is my first time," Harry answered through a mouthful of Hermione's tongue. "I guess I just know what you like."  
  
"Well it doesn't matter," Hermione said. "It's only that we're doing it that matters. Now lets get serious." 


	11. Neville

Hey I'm back from not writin. If you haven't noticed I haven't updated or even written my story for a loooong time. So I might be a little worn out sorta. Anyway I had to go back and read my other chapters to remember what happened in em. So now I'll continue my story and we'll all be happy. (REVIEW!!!!!!)  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Neville  
  
Harry and Hermione stayed at it for the whole trip. Then near the end of the ride the speaker came on and said only five minutes until we get to Hogwarts.  
  
"Oh Shit!" Hermione said. "We have to get our clothes on."  
  
"Damn!" Harry said. "it was getting good."  
  
Someone came and knocked on the door. "Any one in there?"  
  
"Yes, just a minute," Hermione replied. "We're just getting ready."  
  
"Who's we?" the voice asked.  
  
"Harry," Harry answered and was then smacked by Hermione.  
  
"Guys and girls don't get changed in the same room dumbass," Hermione whispered.  
  
"They don't?" Harry asked. "Since when?"  
  
"Since forever genius," Hermione retorted.  
  
"Hurry up in there or I'll come in there."  
  
"You can't," Harry sneered. "It's locked."  
  
"Oh yeah, Alohamora!" The door unlocked. "It's not locked."  
  
"Aww shit," Harry said. "I forgot about that."  
  
The door started opening. And they saw a big fat face.  
  
"Hey I know that big fat face," Harry said. "It's Neville! The fat kid."  
  
"Harry he can hear you," Hermione whispered. "And I don't think he's too happy."  
  
"You big dumbass mean jerk face bitch!" Neville shouted at Harry. "Now I'm gonna tell everyone that you and Hermione are dating. HAHA!" With that Neville left shouting Harry and Hermione are dating.  
  
"What a secret now," Hermione groaned. "Thanks a lot Harry."  
  
"No problem," Harry replied proudly. 


	12. Hogwarts

Hey I'm writin now more because I'm bored. And if you don't know yet I got a guitar (I actually had it when I was writing chapter 11 but I forgot to tell you peepz). I can play 7na (7 nation army) and Adams song by blink 182. Anyway I'm not playin my guitar now (obviously) because I was just playin it. Now on wit da story.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Hogwarts  
  
On top of Neville's yelling you could hear the whole train erupt in laughter. Every once in a while people came to the door and yelled "OH BURN!"  
  
"Way to go Harry," Hermione said. "Now everyone knows about us."  
  
"I know isn't it great!" Harry exclaimed jumping up and down trying to put on his shirt. "Now we can do it in public!"  
  
"NO!" Hermione exclaimed. "This means that we're going to be made fun of."  
  
"And your point is?" Harry asked.  
  
"You're so stupid."  
  
"I know!"  
  
Hermione hurried and got her clothes on and left the room, only to be laughed at by everyone. "ARRRGHHHH!" Hermione yelled. "Why is that jerk ass so stupid?"  
  
"It's because he's dating you!" Neville said. "Now that's a BURN!" The train erupted in laughter once again and Hermione stormed to the bathroom and locked herself in the stall.  
  
Harry didn't see what was so funny so he thought he would go out and see what it was. As soon as he stepped out Neville pointed and said, "now who's the kid everyone laughs at? That would be you!"  
  
"Wow I must be really funny let's see if I can entertain them even more. A guy walks into a bar, ouch! Da dun dun chhh. The train erupted in even more laughter. Harry thought he must be good so he tried another one. What do you get if you cross a retard with a moron?"  
  
"You!" Neville shouted and the train was exploding with so much laughter.  
  
Just then Malfoy and Ron came out of their room to see what was so funny. Harry saw them and thought he could make everyone laugh a million times harder so he yelled above the laughter, "Hey guess what? Malfoy and Ron are dating!" This time the train's floor was covered with bodies rolling on the floor laughing their fucking asses off.  
  
Ron snorted and said, "Yeah so what? Being gay does have its benefits. Like take Malfoy here, he's reeaaaallly good when it comes to a bedroom and boy do I like it! And I love him!"  
  
"You do?" Malfoy said holding back tears. "That's so sweet. I'm gonna give you somethin you'll really like."  
  
"Oh yeah!" Ron said and followed Malfoy back into the room.  
  
The train then stopped laughing and was replaced with "ewwwwwww's."  
  
Ding! "WE have arrived at Hogwarts School of bitchcraft. I mean witchcraft and wizardry.  
  
"Aw damn," Ron said from the room.  
  
"Don't worry I'll give it to you double good in hHogwarts." 


End file.
